Giant to Introduce Robot Workers with Googly Eyes to All Stores, and We Have Questions

Not even really sure where to begin, TBH.

January 14, 2019

Giant is a great supermarket, we can all agree.  Reasonable prices, great variety, clean stores...that retail giant is doing something RIGHT.

So we HAVE to assume they've thought through the new development announced in a press release this weekend.  We HAVE to assume they've run a cost benefit analysis or a risk management scenario or something which is informing this decision.  But we can't help but acknowledge that little voice whispering, "Is it REALLY a good idea to have robot workers in your stores?"  Then, of course, there's the much louder voice shouting, "AND WHY DO THEY HAVE GOOGLY EYES???"

Let's back up.  Friday's press release stated that "Marty", the robotic assistant...yes, it has a name...would soon be making an appearance in all Giant stores nationwide by mid 2019.  And, for some reason we cannot quite discern, all robotic assistants will have giant googly eyes.

Marty is especially designed to identify different sorts of spills or messes to reduce accidents for shoppers.  “The robots’ efforts free up associates to spend more time serving with customers. They also help stores mitigate risk caused by such spills,” Giant said.

We're not going to mention I, Robot.  Or Ex Machina.  Or Terminator.  Or 2001:  A Space Odyssey.  We're not going to mention any of those, and instead trust that there is NO WAY Giant's googly-eyed robots will gain sentience and rise up against Giant shoppers and the human race.

Keep an eye out for Marty soon!